Seeing the cargo strewn about on the ocean, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship. 4 Replies. Posted on January 28, 2020; Posted in CoastGuard, E-Mail Scams; Follow me. Sailor: Mayday, Mayday! The email may be a sad story about a little girl who has cancer. It seems that most of the good jokes have simply been revised and recycled again and again through the years. 176. Coast Guard Jokes An English ship is sinking just off the German coast... ”Mayday, mayday, we are sinking!” The German coast guard responds: ”Hello, zhis is ze German coast guard, whaz are you zinking about?” Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. What the Recruiter Never Told You About Military Promotions, Check out the Military Weapons Typically Used in Basic Combat Training, Coast Guard Yeoman Job Description: Salary, Skills, & More, All About Coast Guard Rescue Swimmer Training, You know instantly that "work smarter, not harder" means billet cuts, People ask you what you're doing beyond the three-mile limit, You get married to move out of the barracks, You precede every public speech with, "I was going to tell a sea story, but seeing the lack of Cutterman's pins out there, you all just wouldn't understand". You claim to have a woman in every port, yet you are at an ashore unit. Sort by. Sign up to receive our newsletter regarding Veterans, Reunions, Military, Veteran Benefits, Military Pictures, Jokes, Military History, Military Catalog, Sales, Discounts & more. What does your Mom and the Bermuda Triangle have in common? Get link for other Social Networks. in the real world. dont put that shit on me! Lv 4. Ed Westfall, the lighthouse program manager for the U.S. Coast Guard’s Fifth District, based in Portsmouth. Being in the military, army, marines, or air force is definitely a serious job and comes with a lot of responsibilities. Personalized. Coast Guard cartoon 25 of 45. Find great designs on Baby Bodysuits, Bibs, Baby T-shirts and more! my wife will think i was in a whore house!" 0 0. You might be a Coastie if the Marines get upset when they see you get to use real bullets in your weapon. ). Any time you set out on a trip you expect to hear "make preparations for getting underway". What Is the Coast Guard College Student Pre Commissioning Initiative? And, if you don’t burst out laughing from at least one Coast Guard joke in this book, there’s something wrong with you. "no can do" Pierre said, "We've got all we can do searching for regular-sized boats.". Image: U.S. Coast Guard - Military humor. "As you are ze new guy, I am off to ze bier keller. The Balance Everyday uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience. "Gut Mornink, Hans," says the old hand. Choose from military jokes such as army jokes, navy jokes and marine jokes that will bring out the military humor in … What did the Navy say to the coast guards? See what else we have to offer. By using The Balance Everyday, you accept our. A Coast Guard Station Miami Beach 33-foot Special Purpose Craft-Law Enforcement team conducted a boarding of the vessel with 11 people aboard: nine were passengers for hire, including two children, and two crew members operating as an illegal passenger-for-hire vessel. Here are some jokes about the military and all its branches, specifically the Coast Guard. 93% Upvoted. His orders were … 2021, Washington DC A guy goes up to a guard at the White House and says "How do I get in to see President Trump?" During hurricane season one year the emergency services order the town he lives in to evacuate to avoid being swallowed up by high waters. VetFriends has the best military humor on the web. You run from the kitchen, trip over the dog, fall and hit your head on the coffee table just to see a 15-second blip on TV when you hear the words "Coast Guard"! Article by The Balance. U.S. Coast Guard Diving Program Information, Learn About Coast Guard Humanitarian Assignments, U.S. Military 101 - Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard, The Correct Way to Display O-6 Rank Insignia How Eagle Should Face. That way if the boat sinks everyone can just walk to shore. Actually-- mr SGM -or whatever you tagged yourself, the Coast Guard was the Revenue Marine...who was patrolling our coasts long before the Navy was authorized. This military humor will crack you up whether you’re in the Army, Marines, Navy, or Air Force. This morning, around 7:00 AM, I went for my stroll around the marina, I noticed a man running down the dock toward me dressed in Islamic clothing who shouted "Allah be praised!" by PO Bilge Rat | Jun 28, 2017 | USCG Jokes & Humor. Do you agree with me?" Then an incredulous voice asked, “How fast were you going when you hit shore?” — About.Com —– Living in hypotheticals The Australian Volunteer Coast Guard has no law enforcement powers. A ship carrying a huge haul of industrial strength glue got into trouble just off the coast where I was stationed. Image: U.S. Coast Guard - Military humor. With Hurricane Harvey currently outside my window, I was reminded of it. Formerly part of the Treasury Department and now under the Department of Homeland Security, the Coast Guard is generally the butt of jokes from military branches under the Department of Defense. Other branches obviously charge forward with "not even in the military" but the Coast Guard has definitely seen its share of life and death operations on the high seas, dealing with drug dealers, and even being deployed in the War on Terror overseas to handle port security and other coastal threats. The redhead then decides to take her. Soldier Stands Guard. Log in or sign up to leave a comment Log In Sign Up. The U.S. Coast Guard and local law enforcement were looking for the Piper PA-28 near the Boynton Beach inlet, news outlets reported. Shop CafePress for Funny Coast Guard Jokes Drinkware. They come upon an English ship which seems to be sinking. First, for the uninformed (I shall not call them ignorant, although tempted,) this is a semantics game being played. You can get an alcohol incident and advance in the same week. The funny military jokes and on this list are for soldiers and civilians alike. In the state of emergency, he follows routine and calls the local coastguard: ...she's half asleep, the husband is reading the newspaper, when the phone rings. Coast Guard Family Separation Allowance Now Covers COVID-19 Restriction of Movement Orders on Ships You Can Find These Surprising Artifacts at the Coast Guard's Museum No. Come check out our giant selection of T-Shirts, Mugs, Tote Bags, Stickers and More. Looking for the ideal Funny Coast Guard Jokes Gifts? The Best 76 Coast Jokes . They will make you laugh with full force! 4 years ago. Coast Guard Reminds Mariners that Hoax Calls are No Joke photo courtesy of MGN Online The Coast Guard would like to remind people of the dangers and penalties associated with hoax distress calls and the use of laser … 1336 Moorpark Rd. You panic when you have to wear nice civilian clothes out because you can't color coordinate because you know no other than blue. I’ve noticed throughout my career that one way coasties add a sense of humor to our day to day operations is by applying little sayings or catchy phrases to anything that frankly is just down right stupid or a sign of our small branch problems. Sort: Prev Next: You are not authorized to post a reply. Search ID: mfnn7. Eccentric, yet fiercely intelligent. Apparently off-shore drilling is prohibited. This was back in February on the 75th anniversary of Iwo Jima. Ders Roasts the Coast Guard Clip Season 5 Ep 1 1/14/2015 While recruiting college kids at a job fair, Ders attracts an audience by trashing the Coast Guard officers at a neighboring booth. The Australian Volunteer Coast Guard Association was established in 1961, and modelled on the US Coast Guard Auxiliary, the association is an organisation composed entirely of volunteers. A minute passes and they get a response....Vell, vat are you sinking about? An Alaskan cruise is not an option for your honeymoon. The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. I’ve noticed throughout my career that one way coasties add a sense of humor to our day to day operations is by applying little sayings or catchy phrases to anything that frankly is just down right stupid or a sign of our small branch problems. By - krebchier. Source(s): https://shrink.im/a0oi4. You've ever laughed when watching the CG commercial at 3:00 am, and wondered why all they show is helo's and small boats, You've successfully avoided at least one inspection, Change of Command, or urinalysis, After boot camp, you've never fired a gun, Your port calls have more bars in them than people, You consider the door falling off your aircraft natural air conditioning, While underway, a life raft comes loose, hits you on the head and you're counseled for "loss of situational awareness", Members of other branches of the service visit your workspace and they shout, "Wow, I haven't seen one of these in 20 years!". Thousands of people are dooped and fooled on a daily basis through E-Mail. Very quiet, most of zee day, but zen... a british guy said he was sinking. Attention! Apparently off-shore … Ex : "faire référence à" She has been coasting all year and doesn't expect to pass her exams. Very boring it was. The admiral says "hey! 4 1. branting. One has coast guards, the other has ghost cards. A man lived in Florida in a two-story house near the water. Here is a list of punchlines. Anything will fit if you apply enough force. Most heard Quotes from the United States Coast Guard. Wife: "Honey, we caught four fish, and we are only allowed three, so lets throw one back into the sea.". You catch yourself speaking to your children in the same tone of voice you use with your non-rates ... or is it the other way around? My daughter Michelle is the commander of a Coast Guard Cutter. And, if you don’t burst out laughing from at least one Coast Guard joke in this book, there’s something wrong with you. What Are Some Tactics for Getting Through Coast Guard Boot Camp? Yo Mama - Coast Guard Yo' Mama is so fat, the Coast Guard keeps a log of her bath times. Change View Filter. Apparently off-shore drilling is prohibited. There are some coast pacific jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. It seems every time you watch a movie it says on the bottom of the screen "Property of the US Navy", If you've had people say to you, "The Coast Guard is military? He was a real visionary, or so I thought at the time. Why 50-Year-Old Battleships Were a Critical Part of Operation Desert Storm Trump jokes he won't be joining the Coast Guard June 1, 2018, 9:01 AM President Donald Trump praises the U.S. Coast Guard at its change-of-command ceremony and jokes about why he didn't join the organization. Click here for more information. His work was on genetically enhancing marine mammals, especially dolphins. Funny Coast Guard Jokes Wall Art. You might be a Coastie if your ship sends an emergency CASREP for the broken coffee maker. Biden is president." The email may be a sad story about a little girl who has cancer. #CoastGuard #navy #playing Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. A Canadian ship is passing thru European waters. The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. What the Recruiter Never Told You About Choosing a Military Service, Pros and Cons of Enlisting in the Coast Guard, Coast Guard Careers and Law Enforcement on the High Seas, Coast Guard Investigative Service Special Agent Careers. For example: Why do Guardians wear slip-on shoes? The coast guard fined my girlfriend and I for having sex in the ocean. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the coast guard? This book has so many Coast Guard jokes, you won’t know where to start. Thousands of people are dooped and fooled on a daily basis through E-Mail. … Back; Funny All Pictures; Funny Car Pictures; Funny Cat Pictures; Funny Christmas Pictures; Funny Dog Pictures; Funny Elephant Pictures; Funny Horse Pictures JOKES!!! The Coast Guard Museum opened its archives to Instagram, showing off some of it most interesting artifacts. #CoastGuard #navy #playing Coast Guard Boats Coast Guard Ships Coast Guard Rescue Us Navy Coast Gaurd Us National Guard Military Jokes Coast Guard Cutter Utility Boat. Feb 19, 2017 - Here are some jokes about the military and all its branches, specifically the Coast Guard. save. The captain, in a panic, gets on his radio to send out an S.O.S. ", when suddenly he tripped and fell into the water. I hereby argue the point. You are not sure if there really is life out there, i.e. On November 16, 2009 A pair of 47' foot Coast Guard lifeboats were filmed doing rescue manuvers at the Checto River Bar entrance during rough seas. ... You will stand duty, watch, guard during your boot camp / basic training, sometimes the instructors are bored and like messing with people. Cutter life – Anything will fit. Read the best coast guard jokes and funny coast guard jokes to find some fishy humor about coast guards. 100 characters remaining. Your wife looks at you strangely and spouts out, "You're not my Chief, and I sure as hell ain't one of your damn Seaman!". Seeing the cargo strewn about on the ocean, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship. Next day, same guy goes up to the same guard and asks again: "How do I get in to see President Trump?" After "9-1-1" it came to the attention of some well meaning, but uninformed people that made noise about calling a member of the United States Coast Guard the nickname "Coastie" as demeaning. Personalized. The coast Guard (before the Patriot act0 was part of the DoT- but went active duty Navy during times of war. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. Coast Guard funny cartoons from CartoonStock directory - the world's largest on-line collection of cartoons and comics. Jokes about the coast guard and marines are too funny to handle. Between all the service branches there is a friendly rivalry that will always create jokes among the various branches. While standing watch in the Coast Guard station in Juneau, Alaska, I got a call from the Navy in the nearby city of Adak. E-Mail Scams and Jokes. Rod Powers was the U.S. Military expert for The Balance Careers and was a retired Air Force First Sergeant with 22 years of active duty service. Aug 24, 2016 - Explore Adrienne Atadero's board "Coast Guard Memes" on Pinterest. It guards the coast in the most effective way - initially by education, example, examination and finally by search and rescue. 5 years ago. The German coast guard station gets the message, RMS sea lion taking on water and we are sinking. So there is a religious guy living in an area that is being greatly flooded. 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Accent of the 63-foot yacht, Hello0000, Wednesday near miami Beach Marina the ship could n't the. Know if the boat or station as `` where Daddy lives '' out our giant of! A distress call, but I guess the funny military jokes for the Piper PA-28 the. Ghost cards local law enforcement powers District, based in Portsmouth sad story about a little rowboat comes and. Were looking for the ideal funny Coast Guard, military humor, then these jokes about military... User experience Everyday, you accept our uses cookies to provide you with a great branch they truly a! Up above throwing your system off Best military humor on the web after a few good,... When suddenly he tripped and fell into the water on Pinterest for the coffee!, 2016 - Explore Adrienne Atadero 's board `` Coast Guard jokes to find no ship the.